Best Friend
by svufanfiction0
Summary: Olivia reaches out to Elliot a month after he left SVU with questions. And he has answers. But what will lie in store for these two? Read to find out! Rated T for now.
1. Chapter 1

"You still here Liv?" Cragen asked coming out of his office, noticing everyone gone but Olivia still sitting at her desk.

"Yeah, just finishing up this 5." she replied not looking up.

"Your partner leave?" he asked referring to Amaro.

She turned quickly to him, her first time looking up, "He's not my partner."

Cragen sighed, he knew Olivia was having a hard time since Elliot left and he knew she hasn't made an effort to get to know the new detectives, especially Nick Amaro. "It's been a month Liv. Elliot is gone, you should try to give Amaro a chance." she shook her head and turned her attention back to her paperwork. Cragen walked over to Amaro's desk, grabbed his chair and slid it right next to Olivia. "Liv? What happened between you an Elliot?"

"Nothing."

"Were you fighting? I know how intense your fights could get, did this one maybe get out of hand?" he asked.

She stopped typing and looked up at him, "We weren't fighting."

"So something else happened then?"

She was starting to get upset, the last thing she wanted to talk about was Elliot, "Are you saying that whatever caused Elliot to leave was because of me?"

He shook his head, "No. Have you talked to him?" she shook her head 'no'. "Not even after the divorce?"

"He's divorced?"

Cragen nodded, "Yeah it was finalized a little after he left. He didn't tell you?"

"No." she then turned back to her work, hoping her captain would get the hint and leave her alone.

But he stayed, "What happened Liv? You weren't fighting so did something else happen between you two?" she remained silent, trying to ignore him as she was typing. "There's been rumors and if something did happen, I think you should tell me." she turned her chair to fully face him but still didn't say a word. "Liv did you and Elliot-" he trailed off.

"Are you asking me if I slept with my partner?" he looked down at his hands twiddling in his lap. "Seriously Captain?"

"Did you?" he asked, his eyes reaching hers again.

She chuckled in disbelief, "Wow. You too huh?" she closed her laptop, stood from her chair and grabbed her things, "I'm leaving."

* * *

It was getting late, a little after 10pm.

He sat watching a Knicks vs Celtics game with a beer in one hand and a bag of chips sitting on the couch next to him. The game was close. 138 to 136 with the Knicks up in double overtime. There was about 9 seconds left on the shot clock and the Celtics had the ball. Go for the win or force a triple overtime? Rajon Rondo had the ball, dribbling, looking for an open teammate to past the ball to. 4 seconds left and with the Knicks defense taking over the court, he had no choice but to shoot. About two feet inside the arc, Rondo threw it up and-

-KNOCK, KNOCK-

Looking towards the door, Elliot cursed having missed rondo's perfect jumper, forcing the game into a triple overtime. Elliot set his beer on the coffee table and stood up to retrieve the door. He opened it and was surprised to see who was on the other side, "Olivia?"

"Well it's good to see that you're still alive." she stated but he said nothing, just stared. "I heard about the divorce, thanks for telling me." she said sarcastically, pushing around him and entering the apartment. He closed the door behind her, "Nice place." she said with no emotion in her voice.

"Liv I'm sorry I didn't return your calls."

"Yeah, me too." she stared at him for a while and he stared back, "What did I do Elliot?"

"What, what do you mean?"

"What did I do that was so bad that you left me, huh? I mean leaving SVU, I get that. But me?" she took a step closer to him. "You were my best friend Elliot, the only person in my life that I could trust. Trust to be there for me and to have my back. You were my partner. What happened to that 'we're partners, for better or for worse?' crap Elliot?" she was getting angrier and angrier by the second. "What kind of partner, what kind of best friend leaves without so much as a goodbye?"

"Liv I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I needed space."

"Space from me?" she scoffed, "What did I do that caused you to need space?"

He reached out to grab her hand, "You didn't do anything Liv, I just needed a break, a new start."

"Why?"

He shook his head, "I don't know."

She dropped her hands, "That's bull."

"I know. God I know and I'm sorry Liv but I would've came back to you. Maybe not SVU but I would've came back to you." he ran his hand down his face. "There was just so much going on, with Jenna, with the divorce, everything. I just needed space. Some time to work through it all."

She nodded, "I get that Elliot, I do. But why shut me out? You know I would've been there for you. Every step of the way."

"I know. That's why I needed space from you. I didn't want to affect your life by dragging you down in mine."

"You know that's not true Elliot. You're my partner, my best friend. I would've been there." he nodded and sat down on the couch, looking towards the tv. He noticed that the Knicks won in triple overtime.

He looked up at her, "I'm sorry."

She took a deep breath and exhaled, "I know."

"You're my best friend too."

"Then next time you're going through something like this, come to me. Don't shut me out." he nodded as she took a seat next to him. "I'm still mad at you though."

He smiled, and grabbed her hand, "How are the guys?"

"They're good. They talk about you a lot. I know they miss you." he smiled again, "We got two new detectives."

"Are they as good as me?"

She laughed, "Not a chance. But they're good cops." he nodded and faced her.

"The Captain?"

"He's fine." she turned to look at him too, "He's part of the reason I showed up her tonight. He was pressuring me to tell him what happened between us, then he asked if we slept together and if that was the reason why you left."

"He did?" she nodded, "What did you say?"

"Nothing. I was just so pissed at him. One for bringing you up in the first place and two for accusing me of sleeping with you and causing you to leave."

He pushed a stray hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear, "I'm sure he didn't mean anything like that Liv."

She shrugged and stood up, "I should go." he nodded and got up too, walking her to the door.

"Thanks for stopping by Liv."

"Thanks for letting me in." she smiled and turned to leaved but quickly turned back around as he was closing the door, "El?"

"Yeah?"

"If I hadn't came here tonight, would you have ever reached out to me?"

He cupped her cheek, "Maybe not right away but as I told you before, I would've found my way back to you." she nodded staring deeply into his eyes, he leaned in and kissed her forehead, "Text me when you get home okay."

"Will you reply?"

"Yeah. I will."

* * *

The next morning Olivia arrived a little early to finish up her work that she didn't complete last night. One by one, each of her fellow detectives came in after her. Her new partner, Nick, dropped a coffee off at her desk. She thanked him and took a sip, frowning at the taste. "Is that how you like it?" he asked her as he sat down at his desk.

"It's fine." she smiled weakly at him.

Cragen came out of his office and approached her, "Liv, my office please."

She sighed, not looking up. She was still upset with him, "No thank you." she replied, causing her peers to look up at her.

"I wasn't asking." He left and began walking back to his office. "Now Detective." he called back.

Reluctantly she stood up, "Everything okay Baby-girl?" Fin asked her.

She looked at him but didn't respond. After entering the office, she closed the door and crossed her arms. "Have a seat. Please." She shook her head and told her she'd rather stand. He knew she was still mad at him and was being stubborn. "Elliot called."

"And?"

"He said you went to see him last night and that he felt like he needed to talk to me." he waited for her to say something but she just stared at him. "He wants you to be here to."

"He's coming here?" Cragen nodded. "Okay, but I'm not sitting in. Whatever he needs to say to you he can, but I've got work to do."

"Liv I think you should be in here when he comes."

"No thanks." She grabbed the handle on the door. "Can I go now?"

Cragen nodded at her before he spoke up, "He'll be here at 11 if you change your mind."

The next few hours dragged on. Each minute she expected him to walk through those double doors, but he didn't. She decided it was time for another cup of coffee, and excused herself to make her a cup. As she was pouring, she heard Fin greeting someone. She turned around and saw him hugging her former partner then moving out of the way so that Munch had a turn. After the hugs, he scanned the room, obviously looking for her. When their eyes met, his lit up. He smiled and walked to her, "Hello detective." He said quietly and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

She couldn't help but smile as she set her coffee down and he pulled her into a hug. "Hi Elliot."

"Since when are they talking again?" Munch asked Fin, causing him to shrug.

The hug lingered as he inhaled her scent. She began to pull away, but he held her tighter, "Not yet. God I've missed you so much."

"Your fault." she told him as she pulled away. "Don't you need to see the Captain?"

He nodded, "Yeah, you're coming in right?"

She shook her head and took a sip of her coffee. "No. You should talk to him alone." She looked over to his office and saw him standing at the door. "Looks like he's waiting for you."

* * *

"It's good to see you Elliot." Cragen took his seat and motioned for Elliot to sit across from him. "How have you been."

"I've been better, but it does feel good to be away from this place. No offense."

His former captain smiled, "I get it. What are your plans for work?"

"Uh- right now, I think I'm just going to take a while off. I don't want to come back to SVU but maybe something else would be a better fit for me."

"I agree. I can help you, you know when you start looking again and need any recommendations."

Elliot smiled, "Thanks Captain."

"Don. I'm not your captain anymore Elliot." Cragen reached into the bottom of his desk and pulled out a bottle of scotch and a glass. He filled it a quarter of the way up and slid it across his desk to Elliot. Elliot took a sip, grimacing as the liquor slid down his throat. "You want to tell me what happened? Between you and Liv?"

"We're good now."

"Then tell me what made you leave here."

He took another sip, "I shot a kid. I killed her."

"It was a good shooting Elliot."

Elliot nodded, "For everyone else, it seemed like a good shooting. But it wasn't" He took another sip and Cragen reached out his hand for the cup. Elliot slid it to him and watched as he poured some more of the brown liquid in his glass before giving it back to him.

"What do you mean it wasn't? She shot up the squad room. Innocent people died because of her."

Elliot nodded, sipping again. He then set the cup of the desk, not wanting to drink too much too fast. "And yet, I didn't care about them." he noticed the confused look on Cragen's face and continued, "I promised myself that I wouldn't choose her over the job again but I did." Cragen sighed finally understanding what he meant. "And I knew that I would do it again in a heartbeat, that's why I had to leave."

"Elliot it's no doubt that you were close-" Cragen started.

"You don't understand. That day, when Jenna came in and started shooting, the only person I could think of was Liv. What if she had got shot? Captain when I tell you that she was the only life I cared about saving-" he trailed off. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to her knowing that I could stop it."

"Son, even if she was who you thought of first, you still saved a lot of people in that room."

"I know. But I didn't care. I needed her down, I couldn't let her hurt Liv." He spoke softer, "She was a kid Don and I killed her." He let a single tear fall from his eyes and whispered, "I killed her."

"Elliot-"

He shook his head silencing him, "This past month, I've thought about that day. I've thought about Liv. I've thought about my kids. What if I had to choose between one of them and Liv? What if one of my kids would have been in that squad room that day too? Would I have shot Jenna to protect them or Olivia? When I couldn't answer that, it scared me." He stood up and began pacing, staring at the floor. "I love my kids, I do more than anything but I couldn't answer that question. If it came down to it, who would I save?"

"Elliot you shouldn't be thinking about that."

"I know but I couldn't help it. I've been with Liv for 13 years, she means a lot to me. So much. I'd do anything for her."

"Elliot look at me." Elliot stopped and stared at him. "What do you think that means son?"

"I don't know- I- when I'm with her I feel- , But when I'm away from her I-" Elliot shook his head and sat back down. "Don I-" he trailed off again.

"Elliot, finish your sentence."

"I'm- dammit Captain, I'm in love with her."

**Please Review! I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas! **


	2. Chapter 2

"_Elliot look at me." Elliot stopped and stared at him. "What do you think that means son?"_

_"I don't know- I- when I'm with her I feel- , But when I'm away from her I-" Elliot shook his head and sat back down. "Don I-" he trailed off again._

_"Elliot, finish your sentence."_

_"I'm- dammit Captain, I'm in love with her."_

Cragen nodded, after 13 years of waiting, he finally heard him say it. "I'm in love with her." Elliot repeated, more quietly this time.

"I know son."

"I'm in love with her." Elliot repeated again, barely above a whisper. He made eye contact with Cragen and slowly shook his head. He was in love with her. Something he always felt but never allowed himself to express out loud. This was his partner, his best friend, his soulmate and the love of his life, it only took him til just now to admit that to his self. "What am I gonna do Don?"

Cragen leaned forward, looking deep into his eyes, "You're going to tell her. You need to tell her."

"What if I just make things worse? She already hates me."

Cragen shook his head and stood up, causing Elliot to stand as well, "She could never hate you. And if you ask me, I think she feels the same way." He walked around his desk, approaching his former detective and gently placed his hand on his shoulder. "Tell her."

Elliot nodded and took a deep breath. He smiled lightly, a small twinkle in his eye, "Can I have her for lunch?"

"As long as you tell her."

"I will."

Cragen nodded, "It's slow enough, go ahead."

"Thanks Don."

Elliot walked to the door and reached for the doorknob before his Captain spoke up, "Just don't leave her again. No matter how this lunch goes, don't leave her. You have no idea what you put her through this past month."

"You have my word. I'm in love with her." Elliot said with a huge smile.

"Yeah I know. You've only said it like 10 times in the last five minutes." Cragen replied, having a smile on his face as well.

* * *

Elliot walked out of the office and let out a deep breath that he didn't realize he was holding. "Hey Elliot, you deciding on coming back to SVU?" Munch called out as he walked to Olivia's desk.

"As much as you miss me, no. I'm not coming back. Not anytime soon anyway." He leaned against Olivia's desk and watched her as she typed. He knew she was trying not to acknowledge him so he cleared his throat.

"Yes?" she stopped her work and faced him.

"I'm taking you to lunch."

"You are?"

Elliot nodded and leaned down, whispering, "We need to talk."

She sighed, "I know we do but I can't just leave Elliot."

"It's okay. I cleared it with Cragen. Just come with me. An hour. Two tops."

She agreed but wanted to check in with the captain to make sure it was okay. It's not that she didn't believe him that he already asked the captain, she just wanted to be sure. While she was in the office, Elliot took a chance to scan her desk. For the most part things were the same but he noticed a picture of himself with his youngest son, Eli, sitting in the corner. He picked it up and examined it quickly. It was the same photo that he kept as his desk. As he was looking over the picture, a young, blonde detective approached him.

"Hi, I'm Detective Amanda Rollins." she smiled brightly at him, extending her hand.

"Elliot Stabler." he reached out and shook her hand. "Liv's old partner."

"I'm Nick Amaro." A younger detective approached him as well. "Liv's current partner."

"Uh, Elliot Stabler. Nice to meet you." Elliot said reaching his hand out to shake his hand.

Nick scoffed, "Wish I could say the same."

Elliot frowned, about to speak up when Amanda cut in, "So what brings you here?"

"Just visiting." Elliot kept his answer short, not wanting to explain his self to two people he didn't know. He glanced at the captain's office looking for Liv.

"Bastard." Nick said as he walked over to his desk.

"Excuse me?" Elliot asked, looking in the direction Nick walked.

Nick smirked, "You heard me."

"You got a problem pal?" Elliot asked getting upset.

Nick turned around and walked up to him, "Hell yeah I have a problem. What gives you the right to just show up here after putting through her hell?"

Nick was now in his face and Elliot was pissed. "You need to watch yourself Amaro." Elliot put his hand in the detective's face causing Nick to shove him backwards. Elliot quickly retaliated, pushing him backwards as well. Elliot stepped up and punched him in his jaw. Nick recovered quickly and lunged at him. Fin and Munch were on their feet in seconds, trying to separate the two.

Having seen the commotion, Olivia and Captain Cragen ran out of the office. "What the hell is going on?" Olivia screamed, causing both men to stop.

"Amaro my office!" Cragen yelled and Munch backed off of him. "Elliot you get out of here! Liv go with him." With that Cragen walked back into his office with Nick following close behind.

Fin let go of Elliot and he and Munch returned to their desk. Elliot took a deep breath and rubbed his knuckles. "Liv," Elliot started.

"Elliot don't!" She grabbed her keys and phone, "Let's go."

Once they got in the elevator, Elliot tried again, "Liv I'm sorry."

"You've been saying that a lot lately." she pushed the button to take her down.

"I know but I really am sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt you more than I have already done."

She nodded, "I know." The elevator came to a stop and they exited, walking in perfect sync.

"The diner?" Elliot asked and Olivia nodded.

**Next up: A long talk between these two, a confession and more! Stay tuned please leave your reviews!!**


	3. Chapter 3

They arrived at the diner shortly and took their usual spot at a booth in the back corner of the restaurant. They ordered their food, a grilled chicken salad for Olivia and a turkey club for Elliot. As they waited for their food, sitting in a comfortable silence, Elliot took the time to really look at her. Realizing that he truly was in love with her. His thoughts were interrupted, however, by Liv, "So what did you and Cragen talk about?" She asked him then taking a small sip from her water.

"Just stuff." Elliot replied repeating her actions and took a sip of his water as well.

Olivia frowned, "What kind of stuff?"

"Work, my family, you."

"Me?" She questioned, "What about me?"

He shook his head and smiled at her, "Just some things that he helped me to realize about you."

"Like?" she was eager to know exactly what he was talking about.

He cleared his throat and answered her, "You'll find out. By the end of our lunch." He smiled, "I promise."

Their waitress returned with two plates in her hands and set them down on the table. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked, flashing a quick smile at Elliot.

He returned her smile and shook his head, "Nah, I think we're good." With that she winked at him and left. He glanced back at Olivia who was staring at back him. "What?" he questioned and she shook her head in reply, reaching over to steal one of his fries. "Guess that will never end."

"What?"

"You stealing my fries."

She bit off half then held it out to him, "Do you want it back?"

He leaned over and carefully grabbed the half-eaten french fry with his teeth, pulling it into his mouth and chewing slowly. He swallowed then smiled, "Yes."

She laughed, "You're annoying." She finally dug into her salad and began to eat.

"You said we needed to talk, so talk."

He nodded, "Yeah. There's uh- some things I need to tell you. Some things I've realized."

"About me right?"

"Mhmm, but we'll get there. But first I need to tell you about that day. About why I left." she nodded and he continued, "That day was one of the worst days of my life Liv. I shot a little girl because I was scared. She just started shooting."

"Elliot you didn't have a choice."

"Liv please, just let me finish. Let me get this out." she sighed and nodded. "I was scared to death Liv. Not for me or for her or Fin or Munch or anyone in that squad room except for you. After it was over, I realized that I did the one thing I said I would never do again. And that was choose you over the job." she started to interrupt, to tell him that he didn't need to do it but he held up his hand, silencing her.

"I know what you're gonna say Liv but it doesn't matter because I realized that no matter what happens, no matter how severe, your life is what is most important to me. If it came down to it, I would choose you Liv, _everytime_."

"El," she barely whispered.

He reached over to grab her hand that was sitting on the table, gently rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "I didn't know why. Protecting you has always been a reflex, something that was automatic. A good cop Liv, a good cop protects the victims at all costs. They should think of the victims first or civilians, not their partners but they didn't matter to me. You did. Making sure you were safe was all that mattered."

She shook her head and quickly pulled her hand back, "You're blaming me?"

His eyes widened, "God no Liv, Never. I would never blame you. I could never blame you. I blame myself." He looked down briefly then back up at her, "I blame myself for caring so much."

"But that's what makes you a good partner El. That's why I trusted you, why I trust you so much."

He nodded, then picked up the toothpick that came with his sandwich and started to play with it, "I know. But I realized that I couldn't do it anymore. It was too hard. It was like Gitano all over again. I chose you then and I chose you again and I would choose you again and again and I knew that I couldn't not choose you. Which is why I talked to Cragen. I needed to figure out what all of this means, what I could do."

"You told Cragen this?" he nodded, "And what did he say."

"Not much, but he did help me realize something."

"What?" she whispered.

"That I'm in love with you." he saw her eyes go wide so he reached out quickly and grabbed her hand, "I've been in love with you for a long time but I didn't realize it til now."

She softened and relaxed, "Elliot, I-"

"Shh-" he silenced her, "You don't have to say anything Liv." He slowly caressed her hand. "Look, I know I was stupid to leave you like that and I'm really sorry but I really did need space. I needed to work out my feelings, see what was real and what wasn't. I'm glad you came to my place, I'm glad we talked, I'm glad I talked to Cragen too. I know you probably still hate me but-"

"I could never hate you," She said instantly. "Yeah you were stupid and I am still a little mad but I could never hate you Elliot. I forgive you."

He smiled, "Yeah?"

She nodded, "And I had feelings for you too Elliot. I still do but this is a lot and it's happening really fast. For a while, I thought I'd never see you again." She sighed. "I just don't want to jump into anything too fast and I think it's best if we just forget about the 'Jenna Thing' and just work to get back to how things were before. Because I miss you. I miss my best friend."

"I've missed you too Liv." He linked their fingers together over the table, "And I'd like that." He gently pulled her hand up to his lips and softly kissed them causing a warm, tingly feeling deep inside both of them, "Wanna go for a walk?"

She smiled, "Yeah." But her smile quickly faded when her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and saw "Amaro" flash. She groaned before answering. "Okay Nick." she hung up the phone and sighed.

"Time to head back?"

"Unfortunately yes."

Elliot helped her with her jacket, threw some cash on the table, and led her out the door.

"Text me when you get a break."

She smiled and nodded, "I will." she reached for the door handle, opened and got out of his car.

"Oh and Liv?" she turned back to him, "I love you." She smiled again, "Be safe." He told her before he quickly sped off.

**Not too sure if I want to continue this but your reviews would be helpful. Thanks for reading. **


End file.
